Nervous and reflective

It’s the day before the race and I’m nervous.  We went down to Fleet Feet to get my bib, so it’s feeling very real now.  When I started Couch to 5K about 9 weeks ago, this was what I was building for, and now that it’s here, I’m nervous.  I’m sure once the gun goes off I’ll be fine.

In reality, though, I wasn’t really just building up to running a 5K.  I was trying to rebuild my faith in myself.  Too much of my work and other things in my life are all on such short time scales.  And I let them get that way.  “The client needs this by tomorrow” or “We need to get presentation done by next week” or whatever.  And soon enough, I find myself thinking, “My son needs to get better at math now” or “I need to lose weight by Friday” or “My younger boy needs to focus now.”  It’s just not real.

I work in the internet world.  That’s what I do for a living.  But all of this immediate access to practically everything under the sun just reinforces bad habits of immediate gratification and immediate expectation. Those are bad things to teach to my kids.

There’s no shortcut to running.  It’s like farming.  I don’t care how good a farmer you are, if you plant corn in the spring, it’s not going to be ready to harvest June 1st.  Same with running.  You need to build slowly.  And while I haven’t conquered the world by doing this silly little C25K, I have at least reminded myself to let the work happen slowly and steadily.  And that work isn’t just running.  It’s being a dad, being a husband, being a business owner.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but I’m also cognizant of how much more I can do, if I stick to it, and take it slow.

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