They lie, I tell you

Damn watches and phones.  I know they lie.  They do it to torture me, I’m certain of it.  There’s no way 5 minutes of running feels so damn long.  By the end of it I was gasping for air.  I’m pretty certain that it has nothing to do with my advancing age or the fact that I let myself get grossly, disgustingly out of shape.  Nope, it’s slow quartz crystals.  Or maybe the position of the moon relative to Mason, Ohio.  Whatever the underlying reason, I wish it would stop.

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