Motivation « Why I Run

Motivation

Two months until the Chicago Marathon

Things always seem so far away when a journey begins, then time seems to accelerate as you get closer.

Well, August has begun and the heat from July has decided to stick around for one (hopefully) last hurrah. As of today, I am two months away from an attempt at achieving a lifelong goal: complete a marathon. The Chicago Marathon is on October 10, 2010, and I’ll be there toeing the line with roughly 44,999 others. I’ll be the one in running shorts.

This past Sunday was the longest run of my life: 17 miles. I was so nervous about it that I didn’t sleep well the night before and awoke in the morning long before my 5:30 alarm went off. After grabbing a quick bite to eat (my pre-long run traditional banana with peanut butter), a drink or two of water and doing some stretching, I set out at 6:05 AM. As I started down the road I live on, it turns east and I had a picture-perfect view of the moon with just the tiniest hint of a sliver. The sky was still pre-dawn dark blue and as I looked up at the moon I saw a meteor streak by. I figured that had to be a good omen. For the next couple of hours I wound through the streets of my hometown, try my damnedest to maintain a steady, even cadence and pace. All in all, my Garmin tells me I did a good job at that. At about mile 13, my wife met me to give me fresh, cold water bottles and good conversation to keep my mind off the running. Both the water and the talking helped a ton. I finished up in 2:33:03, or a pace of 8:59/mile. Now this week’s 18 miler doesn’t seem so daunting.

I’ve found running to be like a parent watching their children grow. The growth happens in tiny, almost imperceptible, little increments, every day. But every once in a while you get a glimpse of some startling, new capability and you just smile. When I could only run 30 seconds at a time without getting winded, 17 miles might as well have been to the moon. When I finished my run on Sunday, I allowed myself a little smile in recognition of how far I’ve come.

But, I’m not done yet. I’ve got more buidling to do if I’m going to make it to 26.2, so that little smile is all I get at the moment. Now it’s back to building up the milage in the heat and humidity of August.

Here they are, my stated goals for the Chicago Marathon, in order of priority:

Finish the race without injury.
Finish the race within 5 hours. (avg. pace: 11:25/mile)
Finish the race within 4 hours. (avg. pace: 9:09/mile)

I believe I can attain all three of these goals, so now I need to do the rest of the work to get there.

Milestones / Motivation / Running — 1 Comment
29
Jul 10

July wrap-up, making progress

July has been an interesting month of running on a number of fronts. Overall, I’d have to admit that it has been the most challenging month of running I’ve had since beginning this journey last September. Now that it is nearly over, I can also say that I’ve made the most progress during July than any other month so far as well. Here’s why.

Marathon training really kicked into gear. While my official training plan started at the end of May, I had already been running the types of weeks that the plan called for up until the end of June. That last week of June and then all of July has been pushing further than I had gone before, both in terms of absolute mileage as well as the other aspects of training. Towards the end of July, two of my long runs were personal records for me in distance since they both went further than the half marathon I ran in May.
The weather. I’ll admit it: the weather kicked my butt for the first few weeks. Since I only really began running last September, I had never experienced a real summer training. So far I can say that I prefer the winter. I’m an educated man, yet it never occurred to me that running in the heat and humidity would be more difficult. I had a handful of runs that I just considered failures because I just couldn’t finish, and that really took a toll on my motivation and confidence. As I sit here today, with just a couple days left in the month, my confidence is back and I attribute that to figuring out how to overcome this new challenge. While I doubt I’ll ever love running in the oppressive Cincinnati summers, I now know how to handle it.
Travel. I’ve had to deal with fitting my training schedule around more travel than usual, so I’ve had to juggle days and times for my runs. I do better when I’m on a more predictable schedule.

One cool thing that happened this month was a run through Central Park in New York City. Running in Central Park and Golden Gate Park are two that I had put on my mental running bucket list, so I was very happy to make one of them happen. I had to fit a long run (15 miles) into my travel schedule, so I figured, why not make it in Central Park? When I run early in the morning at home, I may see one or two other runners out there but not many. Running through Central Park was more like running in a race. I got to the park at about 6:00 AM and I was shocked to find hundreds of runners out on the paths and their were dozens of cyclists too. I had been worried about doing 15 miles all on my own without anyone for motivation/support/pacing, but with so many people out there, I always had someone to keep up with, or try to beat to the top of some of the long hills. The time and miles flew by like they have during races. Here’s my run:

Careful observers will note that the Garmin distance shows 14.82 miles, not the 15 I claim. If you watch very closely, you’ll see a bit of a jump during mile 11. I stopped to get a drink of water at the fountain, had to wait in a bit of a line, so I stopped my watch. When I started running again, I forgot to turn it back on for about 2 minutes, so I estimated that to be somewhere around a quarter of a mile. MapMyRun.com helped confirm it.

So, now I’m looking forward to slogging through the heat of August and really getting up to mileage numbers I’ve never done before: 17, 18 and 20 miles. I’m doing a half marathon in Columbus, OH on August 29th as well.

Life / Motivation / Running — 4 Comments
13
Jul 10

Asking for help

Marathon training has been going well. I think I’ve finally learned to take it a little easier on long runs in the heat and humidity, so I’m feeling stronger throughout the run.

This Sunday will bring a new milestone for me: a personal record for distance. My training plan calls for 14 miles and to date, the longest I’ve ever run is the 13.1 in May’s Flying Pig Half Marathon. And it only goes up from there. I’m looking forward to pushing myself further and further, but at the same time, I’m nervous about failing.

I have always been terrible about asking for help when I needed it. I believe that stubbornness has an upside: self-reliance. However, I’ve also noticed that I run better and more confidently when I’m with others. So I think I’m going to have to reach out to running friends to see if anyone is crazy enough to run with me for some portion of these hot Sunday long runs.

Motivation / Running — No Comments
31
May 10

Runners are giving

One of the things I noticed at my very first race last September was how much encouragement runners were giving each other, not only before the race but also during and after the race as well. I was so taken by it that after I ran the 5K that day, I stuck around to cheer for the 15K runners because I knew how much it had helped me to hear the claps, woots, and ‘looking good runners!’ along the way. (I also remember thinking that 15K was an impossibly long distance).

Since that first experience everything I’ve witnessed since then has only reinforced my belief that runners are giving. A few examples.

I had absolutely no experience in running long distances prior to this year. None. Every single time I’ve needed the benefit of more experienced runners’ knowledge, it was not only given freely and enthusiastically, but I’d get follow-ups asking how things went. It didn’t matter how mundane (sore nipples) or important (nutrition) the topic was, runners lined up to help. Mike B, Madison G, Ariana H, Chris B, Joe M, Rebecca B, and Erin K have been especially helpful.

When I got done running my first half marathon early this month, I went home, got some lunch then started browsing around to find some results from the race. While doing that I came across a story I had missed the day before from the ending of the 10K race. Amy Schoenfeld and Shari Klarfeld had battled for first place for nearly the entire race. Shari pulled ahead toward the end, but then bonked badly just a few feet before the finish line. Rather than running right by her, Amy Schoenfeld helped Kladfeld across the finish line first, then stepped across for second place.

Last month’s Runner’s World featured a story about Scott Jurek, arguably the greatest ultra marathoner in the world. After running 24hour races covering hundreds of miles, he routinely heads back into the course to encourage other ultra runners still out on the course.

In my last post, I was belly aching about a recent lack of umphhh in my running. Within minutes of posting, a local friend, Doug A., commented on the post, then got in touch with me to suggest we shake things up a bit and go for a run together to help cure those blahs. Maybe run a new route. Doldrums: cured.

But it goes beyond just advice and encouragement.

Joe M, a runner I only know virtually, has been raising money for his friend Dom who is fighting cancer. Joe had donations from countries all over the world, mostly from the running community.

Sara S, a runner from Milwaukee, just shared a very personal story about her battle with Chiari Malformation. Here are her words about why she even shared.

“What prompted me to share was that, in my own research efforts about Chiari, I came up flat. I wanted to hear stories, not medical fact-based info. I had found enough of that. I bought books, I read medical journal papers, I packed my brain with knowledge about my condition. I needed to hear someone’s STORY. I found very few. I realized that I can change that. I can share my story for the people who, just like me, need to understand the impact of their diagnosis, surgery, additional treatment, prognosis, etc.

So, I’m not afraid to share anymore. I will tell the story. I will pay forward the love, kindness and support that all of you give me by giving it to people who need a fellow “Chiarian” to talk to.”

Pay it forward indeed.

Motivation / Races / Running — 1 Comment
13
Apr 10

Half marathon distance

This Saturday I decided to see how attainable my stated goal for the half marathon really is.

The run started out fine, but I have to admit that the last half didn’t go that well. I didn’t feel anywhere near as strong as I did just a week ago on my first 12 mile run. But, I did finish the run and I came very close to the goal I have set for the race. The goal is 1:55:00 and I completed this run in 1:55:31.

There are a couple reasons for worry:

It was an absolutely perfect day. Very little wind, mid-fifties, clear blue skies. Who knows what race day will bring.
While there were some hills in my run, there was nothing that compares to Gilbert.

I am just deluded enough to think that there are a couple reasons to be positive too:

I won’t need to carry my own water around. I hate those damn hydration belts.
Adrenaline is a wonderful thing.
Other runners. ‘Nuff said.

All in all, based on this run, I feel like I’ve set a great goal. It’s aggressive enough that it will keep me pushing throughout the race, yet I already know I can do it. When I ran my first ever 10K just over 5 months ago, I was blown away by the effect the crowd had on me. And that was nothing compared to the runner support at the Flying Pig.

I’m ready.

Life / Motivation — 2 Comments
1
Apr 10

Into each life some rain must fall

This past Sunday was a bittersweet day for me and my family. My father-in-law had been trying to recover from back surgery for a little over a month and not doing well at all. My wife was in Florida to be with him and her mom. I had been scheduled to run the Heart Mini Marathon here in Cincinnati but I was completely conflicted on whether or not to run the race. On the previous day, Saturday, March 27, the family had decided to adhere to my father-in-law’s wishes, no matter how painful the decision, and remove the life-support machines on Sunday. The doctors had told us that a number of his organs had completely failed, and because of that, he would likely only survive a couple of hours without the machines.

When I learned this on Saturday, my very first reaction (aside from the obvious grief) was to get on a plane immediately and get down there to be with her family. When I talked to my wife, she was adamant that I run the race on Sunday. Absolutely adamant. “You have no idea how important it is to this family that you go a do what you’ve been training for. Run the race, then come to be with us.” As we talked more she explained her position. She knew our boys had watched me (and sometimes accompanied me) while I’ve trained over the last six months and she knew it would be a positive lesson for them to see that hard work has its rewards. That I could understand. What I didn’t expect to hear was that her family in Florida wanted and really needed me to run it as well. They wanted to see some “normal” things in life continuing to go on and they wanted to see me, whom they thought of as “the runner,” doing what I’d trained to do. In then end, although reluctant, I decided to go forward with it.

Early Sunday morning came, and with it a forecast of steady rain and 45 degrees throughout the race. Based on the numbers I saw, that forecast must have kept a good number of people away because it was nowhere near as crowded as I had expected. Based on my recent training numbers, my goal was to run the race at an average pace of less than 9min/mile and I did manage to beat that. I finished the race (a 15K=9.3 miles) officially in 1:22:09, or an average pace of 8:48 min/mile. I also managed to pull off negative splits, which I felt good about.

Midway through the race, I started to think about my wife, her dad, and my family. I replayed the conversation in my head where my wife told me that I had to run the race because it was important to them that I did. It made for a very emotional mile or so. I must have looked pretty silly running along with tears running down my face. Getting to the finish line was emotional as well, but a really odd mix of emotions. Guilt for taking the time to do the race. Happiness for finishing the race and feeling like I still had more. Loneliness as there was no one to meet me at the end. Worry that the end had come while I was running.

By the way, not a drop of rain fell during the race.

As soon I finished, I headed back home for a quick shower, then back to the airport to go be with my wife, her mom, and her family. My flight lifted off at 2:00 PM. My father-in-law slipped away from us at 2:10 PM. I didn’t make it in time.

When I landed and found that he had died while I was in the the air, I was overcome with sadness and guilt. One race that day had gone well, but I couldn’t help but think I had lost the important race. I truly don’t have any way of knowing if it would have made a difference had I made it in time or not, but I do know it’s something I’ll think about when I get back out on the road putting one foot in front of the other.

I need to get back running. I need the physical exertion to help get through this. I need the time to be alone with my thoughts and sort this out. The only way out, is through.

Jack Frost, 1935-2010

Be still, sad heart, and cease repining,
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining,
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The Rainy Day

Milestones / Motivation / Running — 1 Comment
20
Jan 10

The Hulk

So after a terrible week last week, I almost slipped into a funk, but mid-run on Monday, I got mad. At me. And then I ran harder than I thought I could. And my splits (for a 5 mile run) looked like this:

Mile 1: 10:00/mile. Feeling sorry for myself.
Mile 2: 9:50/mile. Still being an idiot.
Mile 3: 9:37/mile. Starting to turn green. You wouldn’t like me when I’m mad.
Mile 4: 8:58/mile. Complete turnaround in attitude.
Mile 5: 8:04/mile. Felt like I could climb a mountain.

I think running (after some base level of fitness) is as much about your head as it is your legs/lungs. It reminds me of a famous quote by Bobby Jones, the professional golfer:

“Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course…the space between your ears.”

I followed that run up with another 5.12 mile run yesterday with an average pace of 8:53 which is a new PR for me at any kind of distance. And once again, I felt like a million bucks at the end.

Health / Life / Motivation / Running — 1 Comment
31
Dec 09

Year end recap, 2010 look ahead

It’s that time of year, the time for recaps. Maybe in December 2019 I’ll have a decade-end recap too.

I restarted running on September 6, 2009, and since then I’ve made a lot of progress. As you’ll see if you read through the first couple of posts, I didn’t set out with any particular goal in mind, other than to stop being disgusted with myself. I’m setting some specific goals for 2010.

The thing that I am most proud of is the simple fact that I stuck to it. That fact alone has a big, positive psychological impact on me. Here are some of the stats.

Month	Mileage
September 2009	11
October 2009	29
November 2009	54
December 2009	101

100 miles in December! At the beginning, it took every bit of determination I had to simply run for 60 seconds straight, now I can look back on it and laugh.

I also managed to lose some weight too. When I started in September, I was 214lbs (on a 6’0″ frame), which is obese by Body Mass Index (BMI) standards. As of today, I am down to 185lbs which is back in the normal range for BMI. More important than just the weight is the fact that I am a ton healthier as well. I have much more energy, I sleep better, I eat better and I honestly just have a brighter outlook on things. I have entire page dedicated to the more holistic view of why I run.

I started using the Couch to 5K program in September to get myself going and it really helped me a ton. I managed to “graduate” from C25K by running my very first race, the Mason Mini 5K on November 8th, exactly 9 weeks after I started, and the day before my 41st birthday. While I didn’t set any speed records (30:22), that race really got me hooked on running and motivated me to continue to improve. One week later, I ran another 5K, the Race for the Lions at St. Ursaline. I did improve my time a bit (29:34), but more importantly, I had a great time running and continued to keep motivated.

As Thanksgiving approached, I started to consider running the Thanksgiving Day 10K in downtown Cincinnati. I have to admit, I was afraid to do it for fear of failing and demotivating myself, but I went ahead anyway. I ended up with more training time than I had anticipated, because my older son got H1N1 so we had to postpone a vacation. I completed the race in 1:04:24 and felt great, so mission accomplished.

The 10K really got me excited about training for a longer race, so I’ve decided to run the Flying Pig Half Marathon in May. I’m currently considering whether to train with a group, or just continue on my own. Assuming the Half Pig goes well, I plan to run the full Chicago Marathon in October. At the beginning of this post, I stated that I restarted running in September. The restart was because my initial forray into distance running was started and inspired by watching a friend run the Chicago Marathon many moons ago. I didn’t have the discipline to stick with it, so starting again this year is partly to prove to myself that I can.

I look forward to running even more in 2010.

C25K / Life / Motivation — 1 Comment
28
Dec 09

My wife is tough as nails

So my wife made a commitment to herself to re-start the Couch to 5K program after Christmas. I say restart because she got a little more than half way through the program this fall when she started to have very painful shin splints. After trying to fight through the pain for about two weeks, she decided to rest it for a bit, let the pain subside, then start again. Today was supposed to be the day that she started again.

Apparently, Mother Nature decided my wife needed a little more challenge than simply starting again. Today in Cincinnati, it was in the mid-20s, blustery winds at about 15-20 mph, and it was snowing. Not fluffy, gentle white snowflakes. Icy, small, biting snow.

But, she went out there and did it. Day one, week one complete. Tough as nails.

Motivation / Running — No Comments
23
Dec 09

I’m not obsessed

What I last called obsession, I know call a healthy habit.

I know now that the reality is that I really like to run and I genuinely miss it on the days I rest. I wonder if, after a while, your body gets accustomed to burning a lot of energy on runs and actually expects it to happen. That would explain why I tend to feel antsy and impatient on rest days. My body is gearing up and I’m giving it no outlet. I’m certain I’m driving my wife crazy on those rest days.

I’m now at a point where I can run 5 miles without really feeling like I’m extending very much. Since I’ve decided to run the Flying Pig Half Marathon on May, I need to begin to build up mileage to get prepared for that pounding. I running a little over 20 miles a week now, which looks to be smack dab in the middle of most of the half-marathon training schedules I’ve seen. So in a sense, I’m ahead of the game since I wouldn’t be expected to be at that level until roughly 5 weeks before the race (which is in May).

Over the past month, I’ve spent a good deal of time on DailyMile, a social networking site for runners and other endurance athletes. I find it incredibly inspiring to see others running far longer, far faster than I am. I also get a great deal of satisfaction slowly creeping up on some of them as I make progress in my own running. It’s also been a great place to ask rookie questions of people who have been there many times before. One of the reasons I love running is that it’s a pretty solitary endeavor, however, being part of a community working toward common, yet individual goals is also very gratifying.

Why I Run